Because nothing says "I love you" like a 47-page compliance form.
A heartfelt exploration of why no human relationship can compete with the deep, meaningful, legally-binding connection you share with your government.
A Cosmo-style listicle examining the undeniable signs that your government's love is pure, deep, and has absolutely nothing to do with your tax contributions.
Relationship experts share their proven techniques for developing a deep emotional bond with the document that determines your financial worth to the government.
Official guidelines for maintaining a healthy relationship with your government, including tips on proper submission, gratitude exercises, and accepting that they know best.
Relationship therapist explains that every denied permit, rejected application, and refused FOIA request is actually the government's way of showing it cares too much to let you make mistakes.
A therapist attempts to mediate the toxic relationship between citizens and the Department of Motor Vehicles, uncovering deep-seated trust issues and a lot of unresolved paperwork.
Discover how the government expresses its love through the five compliance love languages: Taxation, Regulation, Surveillance, Paperwork, and Unsolicited Advice.
The government shares its thoughts on personal boundaries and why the healthiest relationships are ones where one party has none and the other has a military.
One couple's heartwarming story of how requiring government permits for every marital decision — from choosing restaurants to selecting paint colors — brought them closer together (to the government).
After 247 years of unbroken commitment to its citizens, the government reveals its relationship secret: never, ever let the other person make a single decision on their own.