Tax season is here, and for millions of Americans, that means one thing: it’s time to fall in love.

Not with another person — people are unreliable, emotionally complex, and rarely come with itemized deductions. No, we’re talking about falling in love with your tax return: the one document that truly understands your worth, knows your deepest financial secrets, and determines exactly how much of your life belongs to someone else.

According to a new survey by the Institute for Fiscal Emotional Wellness, 73% of Americans describe their relationship with their tax return as “stressful,” “adversarial,” or “the reason I drink in April.” But relationship experts say it doesn’t have to be this way. With the right mindset, the right techniques, and a complete surrender of your expectations for financial autonomy, you too can develop a deep, meaningful, and borderline romantic bond with your 1040.

We spoke to the nation’s leading tax-relationship therapists to bring you this definitive guide.

Step 1: Set the Mood

You wouldn’t propose to someone under fluorescent lights in a Denny’s parking lot. (Well, maybe you would. We don’t judge.) The point is: environment matters. And the same principle applies to your tax return.

“The number one mistake people make is trying to do their taxes at a kitchen table covered in cereal bowls and regret,” said Dr. Felicia Ledger, author of The 1040 Love Connection: Finding Romance in Revenue. “Your tax return deserves ambiance. It deserves effort.”

Dr. Ledger recommends the following atmosphere for optimal tax intimacy:

• Lighting: Dim. Not dark — you still need to read Schedule C — but dim enough to suggest that what’s happening is emotional, not just financial.
• Music: Something slow and melancholy. Dr. Ledger’s personal recommendation is a Spotify playlist she curated called “Songs to Lose Deductions To,” which includes Adele’s “Someone Like You,” Simon & Garfunkel’s “Sound of Silence,” and a spoken-word track of an IRS agent reading audit findings in a soft baritone.
• Fragrance: Freshly printed paper. Toner. The faint scent of a government building. If you can’t replicate this naturally, Yankee Candle offers a limited-edition “Federal Filing” scent each spring, described as “oak, vanilla, and institutional despair.”
• Attire: Business casual. You want to signal respect, but also vulnerability. A blazer with no shirt underneath, perhaps.

“I set up candles, poured a glass of wine, and spread my W-2s across the table like rose petals,” said Margaret Willoughby, 47, of San Diego. “By the time I got to Line 37, I was in tears. Good tears. It was the most intimate evening I’ve had in years.”

Step 2: Write Love Letters to Each Deduction

Every relationship requires communication, and your relationship with your tax return is no exception. One of the most powerful bonding exercises recommended by tax-relationship experts is writing a heartfelt love letter to each of your deductions.

“Deductions are the tax return’s way of saying, ‘I see you. I acknowledge your struggles. Here’s $400 back,’” explained therapist Dr. Ronald Withholding. “The least you can do is say thank you.”

Here is an example letter, provided by Dr. Withholding’s workbook, Dearly Deducted: Letters from the Heart to the Tax Code:

Dear Mortgage Interest Deduction,

You have been there for me through every payment, every escrow adjustment, every panicked call to my lender at midnight. When the world told me I couldn’t afford this house, you whispered, “But you can deduct the interest.” And that made all the difference.

You don’t just reduce my taxable income. You reduce my existential dread. And for that, I will love you until you are eliminated in a future tax reform package, which we both know could happen at any time, so let’s not take each other for granted.

Forever yours (or until the standard deduction makes you irrelevant), A Grateful Taxpayer

Participants in Dr. Withholding’s program report that after writing love letters to each deduction, their feelings toward their tax return shifted from “resentment” to “something uncomfortably close to affection.”

“I wrote a letter to my charitable donation deduction, and I cried,” admitted Gary Taxworth, 53, of Omaha. “I wrote, ‘You’re the only thing in my life that rewards me for giving.’ My wife was standing right there. It was awkward.”

Step 3: Accept That the Government Deserves the Bigger Half

Every healthy relationship requires sacrifice. And in your relationship with your tax return, the sacrifice is straightforward: you give the government money, and the government gives you the privilege of continuing to give it money.

“A lot of people get hung up on the idea that they should keep more of what they earn,” said Dr. Ledger, shaking her head. “But that’s like saying you should get more than 50% of the dessert on a date. The government is your partner. Partners share. And in this particular partnership, the government’s share is determined by the government, which is exactly how all the best relationships work.”

Experts recommend a daily affirmation practice to help reframe your financial contributions:

• “The government doesn’t take my money. It accepts my love.”
• “Taxes are just hugs I give with my wallet.”
• “I earned this money, and it is my joy to share it with an entity that did not.”
• “Thirty-seven percent isn’t a tax bracket. It’s a love language.”

“Once I stopped thinking of April 15th as the day I lose money and started thinking of it as the day I give my heart to the IRS, everything changed,” said convert Pauline Bracket, 40, of Charlotte. “I still lose the same amount of money. But now I lose it with love.”

Step 4: Frame Your W-2 as a Love Letter

Your W-2 is not just a wage and tax statement. It is a love letter from the government, written in the most romantic language of all: boxes, abbreviations, and numbers that determine your worth as a citizen.

“Box 1: Wages, tips, other compensation. That’s the government saying, ‘I know everything you earned, down to the penny, and I want you to know that I know,’” explained Dr. Withholding. “Box 2: Federal income tax withheld. That’s the government saying, ‘I already took what I needed. I didn’t even ask. Because in love, you don’t ask — you take.’ Box 4: Social Security tax withheld. That’s a promise. The government is saying, ‘I’ll be here when you’re old. You’ll get some of this back. Maybe. If the fund is still solvent. But the intent is romantic.’”

Dr. Withholding recommends framing your W-2 and placing it somewhere prominent in your home — above the mantel, on the nightstand, or in a locket around your neck.

“I framed my W-2 and hung it above my bed,” said Dennis Fiduciary, 58, of Milwaukee. “My girlfriend asked why. I said, ‘Because this is the most honest document in my life. It tells me exactly how much I’m worth and exactly how much of that someone else is entitled to.’ She left, but the W-2 stayed. It always stays.”

Several participants in Dr. Withholding’s program have gone further, creating elaborate W-2 shrines complete with candles, dried flowers, and small offerings of receipts.

“I leave a receipt on the shrine every morning,” said Diane Quartile, 44, of Minneapolis. “It’s my way of saying, ‘Here — another record of a transaction you can use to evaluate my life.’ The W-2 never says thank you, but that’s what makes it so strong and mysterious.”

Step 5: Celebrate Filing Day as Your Anniversary

Every couple has an anniversary. For you and your tax return, that day is April 15th — or, if you file for an extension, October 15th, which is just a longer engagement.

Experts recommend treating Filing Day with the same reverence and ceremony as a wedding anniversary. Plan something special. Dress up. Go somewhere meaningful, like your accountant’s office or a post office at 11:45 PM.

“Last year, my wife and I celebrated Filing Day with a candlelit dinner,” said Peter Auditable, 49, of Richmond. “We toasted to our refund — $1,200, which is $1,200 of our own money the government is graciously returning, and which feels exactly like a gift even though it isn’t. We cried. We held hands. We logged into the IRS website to check the status of our return. It said ‘processing.’ We held each other and whispered, ‘Soon.’”

Dr. Ledger has published a complete Filing Day celebration guide, which includes:

• The Filing Day Toast: Raise a glass and say, “To the government, who takes so much and gives back so little, and whom I love anyway, because what choice do I have.”
• The Exchange of Documents: Partners exchange copies of their returns as tokens of financial transparency and mutual vulnerability.
• The Filing Day Dance: A slow dance to the hold music of the IRS helpline, which Dr. Ledger describes as “surprisingly waltzable.”
• The Reading of the Vows: Each partner reads aloud their favorite line from the tax code. Dr. Ledger recommends Section 469(c)(7)(B), which she describes as “pure poetry.”

Testimonials from Tax-Return Couples

The growing community of Americans who have embraced a romantic relationship with their tax returns reports high levels of satisfaction, or at least resignation, which experts say is close enough.

“My tax return and I have been together for twenty-three years,” said Helen Withholding, 62, of Phoenix. “It’s outlasted two marriages and a timeshare. We’ve had our ups and downs — mostly downs, financially — but through it all, the return has been constant. It shows up every year, asks the same invasive questions, and demands the same level of commitment. That’s more than I can say for any human being I’ve ever loved.”

“I proposed to my tax return on April 14th,” said bachelor Timothy Deductible, 37, of Brooklyn. “I got down on one knee, held up the completed 1040, and said, ‘Will you accept my adjusted gross income?’ The return didn’t say anything, obviously. But the next day, I filed it, and three weeks later, I got a refund. If that’s not a ‘yes,’ I don’t know what is.”

“People think I’m crazy for being in love with a tax document,” said Constance Revenue, 50, of Boise. “But consider: my tax return has never lied to me, never cheated on me, and never forgotten my Social Security number. Can you say that about anyone you’ve dated? Exactly.”

A Final Word

Falling in love with your tax return isn’t easy. It requires vulnerability, patience, and a willingness to accept that a significant portion of your labor will be claimed by an entity you didn’t choose and can’t leave.

But isn’t that what all love is? An act of faith. A leap into the unknown. A signed and dated document submitted under penalty of perjury.

This tax season, don’t just file. Feel.

Dr. Grant Funding is the author of “From W-2 to We-2: A Love Story in Tax Forms” and the forthcoming “Audit Me Gently: Poems for the Fiscally Romantic.” He files jointly with his tax return every year and describes the relationship as “complicated but legally binding.”